They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
