We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
