"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
