Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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