MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
