I'm drive I can fine osifer
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
