Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
