I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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