so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
