I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
