Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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