Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
