you didnt know i had herpes?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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