Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
