I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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