I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
