Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize