Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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