David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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