he thought i was a dude.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
