I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Come share oat with me in your robe
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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