you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You've changed since you got that strap on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
