Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
