So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
