i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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