exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
