yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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