Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
