I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
did you just send me my own nude
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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