I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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