I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
