I CAN MOONWALK!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
