and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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