ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
