I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
