She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
