the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
