you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
