I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
