no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
