i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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