i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
