Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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