She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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