just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
