You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I still have a little drunk in my system
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
