yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
