This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
