New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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