I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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