Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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